She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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