i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
