piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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