Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
