quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
