So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
