Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
