Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize