you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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