We won't sleep together?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
