He is like the real live version of the state fair..
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize