is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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