My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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