He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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