Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
