I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
