Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
