I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We smell like vodka and hangover
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