I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
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