You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
