Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
