I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
All I want is dick and wine.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
