The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
