At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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