you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
