ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize