With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
