Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Quick, to the slutcave!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
