he told me I talked like a deaf person
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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