I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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