I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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