I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
