Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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