on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize