Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My butt remains clenched, sir.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
