I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize