Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
