We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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