a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
His nipple licking is glorious
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