i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
