How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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