god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
