i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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