You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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