First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Best friends brother. Beat that.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
