and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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