One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
