The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
