tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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