Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
