It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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