Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Be still, my beating vagina.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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