Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
