this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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