at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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