Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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