Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
