I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
